So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
