it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Such a big mess for such a small penis
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
