I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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