i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
