P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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