Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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