Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Randomize
