My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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