the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize