i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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