there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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