standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Someone signed my nipple.
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