Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
