I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
