another moral hangover. fuck.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
