no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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