felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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