She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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