Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I love having hate sex.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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