Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
