Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
