Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
