He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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