dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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