Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
