That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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