I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
