Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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