I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
