did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
