I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
