I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
