i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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