he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
