Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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