I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
His hands were made for my vagina.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
