So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
