And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it because I queefed?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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