you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
