okay pat passed out under dana's car
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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