So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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