You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize