so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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