and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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