i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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