I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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