I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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