can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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