even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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