They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
