dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
