someone threw a dead crab at me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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