And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I enjoy the company of your penis
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