in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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