no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
