Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
