I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
