Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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