i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
